Epitaphs

~ Dracula ~
Fangs for the Memories

~ Roland Stone ~
Gathering No Moss

~ Rob R. Duckie ~
You’re the One

~ Count Dracula ~
1236
1458
1527
1703
1823
1995

~ Jeffrey Dahmer ~
Mmm... Mmm.. Good

~ Ida Voider ~
She walked in beauty like the night.
Beware her now, she's such a fright!

~ Grimm Rictus ~
1837 - 1913
Death's Grip Holds Me Tight,
But I Shall Return One Night!

~ Chevy Chase ~
I'm Dead And You're Not

~ Count Dracula ~
May you always be in our hearts,
And may that stake always be in yours

~ A.O. Elle ~
1985-2005
Connection Terminated

Here lies my wife in earthy mould
Who when she lived did naught but scold.
Good friends go softly in your walking
Lest she should wake and rise up talking!

Here lies a miser who lived for himself,
Who cared for nothing but gathering wealth.
Now where he is and how he fares;
Nobody knows and nobody cares.

Here lies Mr. I. B. Crisp
Fixed the toaster with a knife
Got the shock of his short life!

Here lies old Mrs. Derns
Now being eaten by lots of worms.

Here lies cold and hard
The last cat that pooped in my yard.

Here lies John Yeast,
Pardon him for not rising.

Here lies the remains of dear old Randy
A heck of a guy, but now worm candy.

Here lies the Pillsbury Dough Boy
He will rise again!

Here lies Billy Brown
Lost at sea and never found

Here lies dearly departed Bill
He always lied and he always will
He lied once too often and now he lies still

Here lies Ben, whose life was full
Until he tried to milk a bull

Here lies Ned
There is nothing more to be said
Because we like to speak well of the dead

Here lies the body of my sweet sister;
She was just fine 'til Dracula kissed her

"Hey y'all…watch this!"

"I've done this a million times!"

"Now I really am between a rock and a hard place!"

"I told you I was sick!"

"I know it's lightning outside!"

200_ Halloween Prop Vandal

~ F. Yurn Vandal ~
The graveyard has cameras, alarms on the props.
Disturbing the contents, summons the cops!

200_ Halloween Party Guest of Honor

200_ Halloween Party Gate Crasher

This is a tomb with quite a view
Do come in, there's room for you.
But hearken, dear mortal,
And mind me well
For I warn you now
The view is from HELL!

My wife she met with an early demise,
but she can still see, I kept her eyes.

This Space for Rent

In perfect health,
died in a sudden & unexpected manner,
while reading tombstones.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
Quite well I bet
Since it's well fed
By your body down below

While living folks my tomb do view,
Remember well - there's room for you!

To follow thee is not my intent
Unless I know which way thou went

I shopped, I bought
In debt, I rot

In heavy traffic he'd never postpone
A single call on his cell phone
So listen closely and I vow
He's still asking "Can you hear me now?"

Too much candy made Billy burst
They boxed up the pieces in the hearse